Podcast #6: 10 Tips for Anyone Facing Termination, Including Negotiating a Severance Package

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If you want to listen on your iPod via iTunes, you can use this link (will open iTunes and take you to the podcast): http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=284065741 You can also listen through this website using the player below.

The primary message of Episode #6 of the Hostile Workplace Podcast is “You Are Not Powerless When Facing Termination!”  This episode shows you how to fight back and try to keep your job, PLUS, we cover how to negotiate a severance if you decide to leave.  Negotiating a severance would also apply to anyone who is facing layoffs at their company.

Tips 1-3:
Fight Back by utilizing protected classes and turning the tables on your supervisor.

Tips 4-7:
Slow the Process Down by knowing all your due process rights and using all of them.

Tips 8-10:
Even if You Decide to Leave, don’t just walk away; you have the power to get something out of the company, and ease your transition to your next (better) job.

The ever-popular “Quick-Tip” feature comes straight from our forums.  A community member who is facing termination at his own job has a great tip for anyone dealing with an abusive boss.

Avoiding the Axe (Pt. 1) — By Jenn S.

It is with great pride that I introduce a new attorney and columnist to the community of UndercoverLawyer.com.  Jenn S. is a small town employment lawyer who has been a big city employment lawyer, big corporation H.R. Rep, and for a time was even a rock music journalist!  She brings all these different backgrounds to her columns.

I met Jenn when we were both employed at a large law firm.  We’ve both since moved on to greener pastures (almost literally for her), but we’ve kept in touch due to a friendship forged in the trenches law firm life.  I’d say we both learned a LOT in those early years of our legal careers, but we’re both happy to be elsewhere now.

Jenn lives in a beautiful spot some where in the Mountain Time Zone; she has one young son, a husband, and a great sense of humor.  She’s worked in Human Resources for two gigantic national retail chains that you probably shopped at recently (Just today I was shopping in one, and drove by two separate locations of the other).

Jenn speaks in a casual, down to earth tone; you will enjoy her humor and her advice, which will be appearing twice each week here on UndercoverLawyer.com.  With that, Here is Jenn’s first article:

AVOIDING THE AXE: Part 1

As an HR professional and employment law attorney, I have heard more than my fair share of workplace nightmares. People are just going along, minding their own business when suddenly they are thrust into some horrific drama that ends in their termination – and they never saw it coming. The following tips are things that I have gleaned from experiences throughout my career and encourage all employees to follow them religiously. That is, if you want to stay employed.

DON’T touch people. This is almost always my number one tip when I conduct employee trainings. The rule goes for everyone but even more for the guys. Just don’t touch anyone – don’t pat on the back, or touch a waist, give hugs, massage shoulders, etc. Beyond the simple handshake, you should just avoid touching all together, if you possibly can. There are some nutty people out there who might interpret your supportive back patting as a come-on. Couple a few poorly-placed pats with one or two off-color jokes or emails and you might just find yourself fired for harassment, or at least accused and so mortified that you are forced to resign. If you MUST touch someone, touch somewhere very non-sexual – like the top of the shoulder. And don’t ever touch anyone’s hair – for some reason that is a particularly intimate gesture that people find invasive and just generally creepy.

DON’T get drunk at company events. If you tend to get a little “crazy” when you drink, you’d be better off just sipping ginger ale when in the company of workplace folk. Fun as it may be to go out and tie one on with the crowd, this is a danger zone, especially for women. A drunk woman is always viewed much worse than a drunk man – one might be amazed how quickly credibility and respect can disappear after a night of debauchery with the guys. Even more risky…if you get a little too “friendly” when you’ve had a few. Male or female – this is a veritable minefield that you should avoid at all costs. If you end up in bed with someone from work, you might as well start revising your resume because it will come back to haunt you and, depending on your position, it could cost you your job. Best advice – stay sober and you’ll stay hired.

DON’T get romantically involved with ANYONE from work. This tip goes hand in hand with the previous one. The best tip, really, is just to keep your sex life out of the office, period. Don’t mess around with anyone who is even remotely related to your workplace, be it a distant regional manager or your local union rep. Assuming the relationship does not result in matrimonial bliss (and chances are pretty high that it will not), you run many risks, including looking like the office tramp, being the focus of that nasty intra-office gossip, being accused of sexual harassment, or just being fired for acting, well…trashy. It can happen. I’ve seen it happen. So when it comes to work, just keep your pants on. There are plenty of people out there who are available for relationships that don’t work at your company. Find them.

DON’T utilize your work email or internet account as your own personal playground. Remember, those accounts do not belong to you – they belong to your employer. You should have no expectation of privacy. Your employer can read your emails and trace your internet activity all they want. So tempting as it may be to forward that sex-related joke or to visit questionable websites while you are on the clock, restrain yourself. You would be amazed at the seemingly innocuous emails that have landed people in the unemployment line.

DON’T be “best friends” with anyone at work. Another name for this tip could be “don’t trust anyone at work.” I hate to sound so negative because there are usually a lot of really good people in every workplace and we want to be able to trust people. But I learned this one by personal experience and was completely blindsided when my alleged “friend” threw me under the bus, so to speak. Generally, it is fine to have friendly relationships with people you work with but when you find yourself starting to really share your home life or your personal feelings about the company, the boss, or coworkers with another coworker – you are crossing into dangerous territory. Becoming too close to a coworker or supervisor leaves you vulnerable to attack should things suddenly go wrong. Keep your workplace relationships light – save the heavy stuff for your therapy sessions.

These are just a few of my best tips for avoiding trouble in the workplace and staying employed. Be on the look out for part two in the coming weeks – there are more pitfalls awaiting you!

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Questions for Jenn?  Have you seen someone torpedo their career with one of the foibles she mentions? Post your questions and stories in the comments section below.

10 Steps of Walking the Plank Toward Termination: STEP 3, Your Good Work Gets No Rewards

A law firm partner who wanted me fired used to sing my praises, calling me a “golden boy” and going on and on about how I seemed to have a “magic wand” that would solve all the partner’s problems.  Now, this partner’s inability to remember to take all their pills each morning was not my doing, but it was nearly my undoing (ever had a boss like this?).

One day I had obtained an especially good result for a demanding client in a challenging case.  I was exuberant as I bounded into my boss’s doorway and blurted out “Did you hear how the judge ruled on our Rule 11 motions? Granted! We got them!”  I fully expected my boss to jump out of their chair and hug me, or at least shake my hand and offer to call the client and give me credit for the victory.

Instead I got a cold emotionless stare, and a partly sneered question, “When am I going to see your draft of the summary judgment motion for the Kline case?”

The question didn’t hit my hears, it hit my gut.  It took my breath away.  “We won,” I said meekly.

“I heard you.  I’ll inform the client.  I want to see your draft before I leave today.  I wanted to see it yesterday.”

This exchange depressed me for days.  It was obvious my formerly skyrocketing career working under this boss had fallen back down to earth and crashed.  I knew I was NOT going to continue to grow and move up if I continued working for this person.  When I got over my shock and depression, I started trying to make a lateral move so I could work for a new boss at the same firm.

Luckily for me, this boss also alienated their own boss, and their own management level co-workers.  My boss was asked to leave the firm before getting an opportunity to totally “get” me.  Not long after, I learned that my former boss had wanted me fired.  Given my boss’s total 180 toward me and my accomplishments, I wasn’t surprised to hear it.

Does your own boss act like you can’t do anything right, even when you are bringing him or her great results?  Are other employees getting pats on the back for the same things you do, but you get no rewards?

This is the heart of “The Third Step of Walking the Plank Toward Termination”: a boss that no longer gives you any credit for your accomplishments, especially if he or she used to praise you regularly.

A close cousin of this scenario is when your boss gives you no credit for accomplishing something, while lavishing praise on your coworker for doing nearly the same thing, or less.

In either case, you should be aware that if you were a little doll, your boss would be walking you across the plank of the toy ship on his desk and smiling at the thought of dropping you down into the trash can.

What can you do?  You can try to move away from the boss, like I did.  I got lucky, and the Executives at my firm dropped my boss into their own trash can.  Your boss probably has enemies too, but I wouldn’t rely on them to save you.

Another option is that you can leave your job and look for a new one.  In this economy, I would not recommend that path to anyone.  It’s hardly even an option anymore.

Or, you can learn to fight back by using the tools that the law provides employees — and which mostly go unused.  The knowledge of how to fight back, and the friendship and encouragement you need to actually do it — those are the things this website and forum are all about.  But even if you don’t choose that path, it’s good to be able to recognize the path you are on.

So now you know: when your boss gives you zero credit for accomplishments that used to get praises, it’s time for you to start thinking through your options.

You do, however, usually have a bit more time.  In most cases their are other steps yet to come before the termination axe falls.

We’ll reveal another one of those steps right here on this blog tomorrow.